This is what happens when..

This is what happens when you don't have internet, are going through a breakup, and are depressed. 

 Yep. Pretty much.

- You don't write.

- You cry too much, and then you don't cry at all.

- You don't talk. To anyone. You see how long you can go without speaking, and then are surprised by your own voice once you have to use it.

- You go to work, but act on autopilot, and try as hard as you can to pretend everything is fine.

- You sit in your bedroom for days on end, only leaving bed to pee, or microwave some more pizza bagels.

- You cut down on smoking, because that means leaving the house.

-You lose 15 lbs.

-You stare at your phone, willing for them to call, but hoping to God they never do.

-You ignore friends, make excuses, and spend A LOT of time alone. With your cat. And watch A LOT of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. With your cat. You pretty much do everything with your cat. Even she starts looking at you funny.

Mom. Srsly. Get the fuck out of bed.

 You think about a lot of things. You think about what you're doing with your life, and whether it's what you really want to be doing or not.

 You realize that even though your 2 year relationship with the person you once thought you were going to marry is over, your life isn't. You realize that you can, in fact, live without them. You also realize that you actually like being alone, which isn't something that you would ever think would happen. You find out who your real friends are- the ones who you haven't talked to in the past two years, but drop everything to be there for you, without you even asking. 

  Then you tackle the real problems. What the fuck are you doing with your life? Seriously. What have you been doing? Not dealing with your shit, I can tell you that. So what do you need to do to feel better?

QUIT FREAKING OUT, YOU NUTJOB.

 - GET OUT OF BED. Seriously. You kind of smell, your hair is a mess, and.. how long have you been wearing that underwear? Dude. Get out in the sun a little. But shower first.

 - Talk to someone. You're dealing with a lot of shit, A LOT OF SHIT. And you don't have do go through it alone. So stop trying to.

 - Eat something. Something besides Pizza Bagels, Hot Pockets, and Pringles. Something green and leafy. Maybe some protein? Definitely some juice.

 - Make a plan. Write it out. Have some idea of where you want to be in the next six months, then start doing it what you need to do to get there.

 - Read this blog: READ ME, I KNOW HOW TO FIX YOUR FEELINGS.

 - Sit down, and make yourself write. Make yourself do some crafts. Even if you don't like it, it helps you process the crazy.

 - Do all of this, every day. Because this is what makes it easier. Getting up, getting out, making art, eating, laughing, having fun. Let yourself have some freaking fun. Stop punishing yourself. Because this isn't your fault. You deserve to be happy, so fucking be happy already. DO IT.